My Advice to Joe Biden: Blame The Interns
Unless the president confesses to hiding classified documents, he's out of options. Also: U.K. bigots bigfoot Scotland's Parliament on trans rights. Plus: Are you ready for the return of “Baby Yoda”?
It May Be The Only Way Out For President Biden
With each passing day, the classified documents mess is dominating the news cycle, overshadowing any good news the White House hopes to share.
As I see it, the president has no choice but to blame the interns who worked with him after he served as vice president. I know all too well about interns, having recruited them and trained them over the years. Also: I got my start in the news business as an intern.
It was 40 years ago this September, CNN took a chance on me and put me to work as an intern in its New York City bureau. I was a sophomore in college, studying journalism on a full-ride scholarship, both eager and excited to get my foot in the door of the three-year old, 24-hour cable news operation.
I stumbled on occasion, as new interns do; pressing the wrong button on the only video recorder archiving an important event, feeding newspaper articles into the monstrous fax machine that chewed them up instead of faxing them to Atlanta and hanging up on callers (sorry, Bob Furnad!) while trying to transfer them. And yet, just one month into my internship, CNN hired me to work part-time, five nights a week, and launched my career in journalism.
When I started, CNN was preparing to move from the World Trade Center downtown to an office tower across from Penn Station in Midtown Manhattan. One of my tasks was to help production assistant Barbara Richmond pack up box after box of clippings, show transcripts and other documents for the movers. She was diligent, organized and efficient; I was a little too curious, somewhat confused and feeling overwhelmed at the sheer volume of work before us.
Maybe that explains why I recently found a box in my basement containing papers from 1983 — CNN papers. Oops. There was nothing historic or even significant; mostly blank letterhead with our old address and promotional material.
This discovery got me thinking: Somehow, I wound up with company documents, and I’m going with “mistakenly” here, so isn’t it plausible that some dopey, sloppy intern for former V.P. Joe Biden also stashed some important papers in a locked closet in his office, in his home, in his locked garage? Even classified ones, mixed-in with other papers? Oops, right?
Don’t get me wrong: I adore interns, and have always treated them well, because that’s how everyone should be treated, despite the fact newsrooms, in my experience, were very dysfunctional and abusive environments. One intern even became my boss (Hi, Albert Lewitinn!).
But it’s come to this: Biden should not wait another moment to declare, THE INTERNS DID IT. Throw ‘em under the bus! What other option is there?
Here Now The News
HOW FOX NEWS IS COVERING THE DOCUMENTS INQUIRY: Brett Tolman, a former U.S. attorney, writes “Why Biden's documents mess could be one of the biggest political scandals in American history.” Fair and balanced, riiight.
MASS SHOOTING AT MLK EVENT IN FLORIDA: WPBF reports more than 1,000 were in attendance and only two police officers were on duty when shots rang out.
CONTROVERSY OVER NEW MONUMENT TO MLK AND CORETTA SCOTT KING IN BOSTON: It’s… different. CNN
CONNECTICUT CITIES COLLABORATING TO CREATE MLK MURAL: WTNH
NEWSPAPER PRINTS HEAVILY EDITED VERSION OF KING’S “I HAVE A DREAM” SPEECH (AGAIN): What they took out says a lot about the editors. Details in Parker Molloy’s excellent The Present Age Substack (You should subscribe!)
Other News to Know
“SHIT! DELTA 1943, CANCEL TAKEOFF PLANS!” Inside the near disaster on a JFK runway. Coverage from The New York Times and Washington Post and you can read and hear the recordings of the tower to pilot conversations here.
CALIFORNIA FLOODING: DID FORECASTERS FAIL TO SEE IT COMING? Washington Post
EXXON MOBIL RESEARCHERS PREDICTED GLOBAL WARMING: But the oil giant continued to publicly argue that climate change wasn’t real. The A.P.
FIRST INSURRECTIONIST ACQUITTAL: Judge finds Jan. 6 defendant who breached Senate chamber not guilty of obstruction, but guilty on other charges. Politico
FAILED GOP CANDIDATE ARRESTED IN SHOOTINGS OF DEM RIVALS’ HOMES: Albuquerque Journal
GEORGE SANTOS’ SHADY DEALINGS WITH RUSSIAN MONEY MAN: The Daily Beast
U.K. OVERRULES SCOTLAND PARLIAMENT: A new law would have allowed transgender citizens to more easily self-identify without ridiculous and obtrusive levels of gatekeeping. It’s a historic dick move by the Brits, who are notorious for dick moves when it comes to trans folks and the Scots. NYT
MORE PEOPLE IN CHINA DIED LAST YEAR THAN WERE BORN: It’s the first time in six decades that this has happened, and people are worried. NYT
NEPAL CRASH UPDATE: BBC reports co-pilot was widow of another pilot killed in a prior crash, and Snopes confirms the video of the crash streamed live on Facebook by a passenger aboard the doomed flight is authentic.
GERMAN POLICE TARGET GRETA THUNBERG AT COAL PROTEST: The Hill
GERMANY DEFENSE MINISTER RESIGNS: She sent Ukrainians helmets instead of rifles, flew her kid on a military chopper and had other missteps. Washington Post
WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM BEGINS IN DAVOS: It’s a big deal. CBS
MISSOURI STATE HOUSE REQUIRES WOMEN TO ADHERE TO NEW DRESS CODE, COVERING BARE ARMS: CBS
BRIDEZILLA 2023: Reddit is buzzing about the bride who dumped her fiancé and canceled their wedding after their guests refused to pay “entrance fee”
SELENA GOMEZ RESPONDS TO RED CARPET BODY SHAMERS: CNN
R.I.P. AMERICAN IDOL CONTESTANT C.J. HARRIS, DEAD AT 31: NBC
CALIFORNIA MOM SUES SCHOOL DISTRICT FOR “FACILITATING” DAUGHTER’S GENDER TRANSITION: Enterprise Record
OLYMPIAN KELLY HOLMES: “I SUPPORT MY TRANS SIBLINGS” Pink News
FOX NEWS AND TWITTER LOSE THEIR SHIT AND MISGENDER TRANS WOMAN WHO OWNS MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT: FOX
Social Justice News
FOX NEWS LOSES ITS SHIT OVER PROPOSAL TO GIVE BLACK SAN FRANCISCANS:$5M IN REPARATIONS AND DEBT FORGIVENESS: FOX
DESANTIS SCORES AGAINST NHL: The hockey league announced a job fair for marginalized job candidates, and Florida’s Republican governor declared that was discriminatory. The NHL subsequently opened the job fair to all, because what the hockey league really needs is more white men. FOX
QUEER NONBINARY STAR SHINES: The Hollywood Reporter, spoke to Glass Onion’s Janelle Monáe and got their pronouns right throughout!
THIS IS THE WAY: If you missed the new trailer for season three of The Mandalorian, premiering March 1 on Disney+, check it out here!
Thanks for rising up with me today. Thank you to all my subscribers! I’ll be back again tomorrow. Until then, may your news be good news!
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